Flight Attendant Stories: Airline Call In Sick Policies Are Kinda Bullshit

On the last trip I worked — over the Christmas/Hannukah holiday — I worked with a flight attendant who came to work sick. Billy was more than sick, he looked like he was about to die.

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Top 5 Books For That Special Flight Attendant In Your Life

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Do you hear that clock ticking? No… it’s not your biological clock. Or maybe it is — I don’t know. If so, that’s something you will have to discuss with someone else. I am here to talk about the clock that’s ticking towards the holiday season. Whether you celebrate or worship: Hanukkah, Jesus Christ, Mohammad, Kwanzaa, L.R.Hubbard, The Flying Spaghetti Monster, Madonna Louise Veronica Ciccone, or Lady Gaga — these books are the perfect gift for that flight attendant in your life. 

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Woman dragged off Delta Airlines flight. Don’t let this happen to you.

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Photo by Flight Attendant Joe

According to CBS News, a female passenger was removed from a Delta flight early Monday morning in Detroit Metropolitan Airport. Flight 2083, bound for San Diego, had a slight delay after police were called to assist with the removal of a woman who refused to leave the airplane.

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The Perfect Holiday Gift For That Flight Attendant & Pilot In Your Life

An Important Message Regarding Sexual Assault!

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Did you know that every 109 seconds someone in America is the victim of sexual assault. And that only 6 out of every 1,000 rapists ends up in prison. Help me help victims of sexual assault.

Please watch this video…

If you are interested in purchasing a signed autographed copy of Fasten Your Seat Belts And Eat Your Fucking Nuts for $50.00 please email me at joe@flightattendantjoe.com

There are only 10 books available for purchase. All monies from these sales will be donated to RAINN. The Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network.

Thank you,

Joe Thomas

Flight Attendant Stories: Turning Lemons Into Lemonade!

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If Beyoncé can do it — so can I!

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Tips About Inside Airplane Temperature

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One of my favorite things about Facebook is the On This Day feature. I love looking back to see where I was, or what I was thinking — or doing — on a specific day. This morning while sitting on the patio drinking my coffee, I came across a comment from 2013 where someone asked me to write a post about air conditioning etiquette on the airplane. What do I do if it’s too cold? What do I do when I’m sweating my balls off? Why is there mist coming into the airplane? Are we all gonna die? 

You know, the important questions that float across your mind while sitting in your middle seat squished between some young guy wearing shorts, a tank top, and flip flops and some old lady covering herself in three wool sweaters.

My first suggestion is… BE NICE! Be nice to your flight attendant when inquiring about the temperature on the airplane. I can’t stress this enough, so I will say it again, in big bold letters — BE NICE TO YOUR FLIGHT ATTENDANT WHEN INQUIRING ABOUT THE TEMPERATURE ON THE AIRPLANE!

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Vote For Your Favorite Flight Attendant Story!

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VOTE! VOTE! VOTE!

Please take a moment to read these fantastic stories submitted by readers of the Flight Attendant Joe blog. The winner (the person with the most votes) will receive a signed autograph copy of my recently released book, Fasten Your Seat Belts And Eat Your Fucking Nuts.

They obviously want to win if they sent in their stories. So please take the time to read these stories. They are terrific. Also, please only vote once. Don’t be cheating… or I’ll pour hot coffee on your genitals the next time you are in coach.

Deadline to vote is end of day on September 9, 2016. Please leave your vote on Facebook OR on this blog thread. Vote by subission number.

Thank you.
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Have you joined the Party?

PROMOPARTY

 

Click on the link below. Now Available:

iTunes

Amazon eBook

Amazon Paperback

Nook

Kobo

 

Enter The Flight Attendant Story Contest

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Do you have an amazing flight attendant story? A bitch flight attendant who served you stale nuts? A brave flight attendant who carried you out of a burning airplane? Someone you worked with who made your skin crawl? Share your story for a chance to win.

Prize: An Autographed copy of Fasten Your Seat Belts and Eat Your Fucking Nuts

Contest Rules:

  • Must be 18 years old to enter
  • Must have a US mailing address to receive prize
  • Write your story in the body of an email to joe+fastories@flightattendantjoe.com
  • Try to keep entries under 300 words
  • The finalists will be posted on the Flight Attendant Joe blog and voted on by readers
  • Let me know in your email if you do not want your real name published with your story.
  • Entries must be received by Friday, August 26, 2016
  • Now… get your ass to writing them stories!

Introducing… Flight Attendant Joe’s You Tube Page.

A short 5 minute video of a reading from Fasten Your Seat Belts And Eat Your Fucking Nuts.
This is a test run. It’s kinda brutal… be kind.

Flight Attendant Joe reads at the OutWrite Book Festival 2016

Photo credit to OutWrite Book Festival 2016
Photo credit to OutWrite Book Festival 2016

My nerves were shot. Palms sweaty. And I was short of breath before even walking into the D.C. Center.

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Flight Attendant Joe Stories: Changing Someone’s Day

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Last week was pretty brutal. Actually, brutal is an understatement; it felt more like getting a blow job by someone with braces who doesn’t know how to cover their teeth with their lips.

Ouch is right!

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What’s The Plan After You Publish A Book?

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Fasten Your Seat Belts And Eat Your Fucking Nuts is published. Finally!

Some of you have been waiting about as long as I have. For you who have waited all these years, I thank you.

But now what? What’s on my agenda now? I’ve never written a book so I honestly don’t know the path that a real published author takes. By the way, I fucking LOVE saying that. I say it to myself in the mirror. I say it when I wake up in the morning. I say it while stuck in traffic or standing in line at the grocery store.

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Up Next: OutWrite Book Festival – Washington D.C. August 5-7, 2016

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What do you do after you write a tell-all, candid, and inappropriate flight attendant book? 

You read it live for people!

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