Top 5 Books For That Special Flight Attendant In Your Life


Do you hear that clock ticking? No… it’s not your biological clock. Or maybe it is — I don’t know. If so, that’s something you will have to discuss with someone else. I am here to talk about the clock that’s ticking towards the holiday season. Whether you celebrate or worship: Hanukkah, Jesus Christ, Mohammad, Kwanzaa, L.R.Hubbard, The Flying Spaghetti Monster, Madonna Louise Veronica Ciccone, or Lady Gaga — these books are the perfect gift for that flight attendant in your life. 


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Click on the link below. Now Available:


Amazon eBook

Amazon Paperback




Enter The Flight Attendant Story Contest

FAContest (2)

Do you have an amazing flight attendant story? A bitch flight attendant who served you stale nuts? A brave flight attendant who carried you out of a burning airplane? Someone you worked with who made your skin crawl? Share your story for a chance to win.

Prize: An Autographed copy of Fasten Your Seat Belts and Eat Your Fucking Nuts

Contest Rules:

  • Must be 18 years old to enter
  • Must have a US mailing address to receive prize
  • Write your story in the body of an email to
  • Try to keep entries under 300 words
  • The finalists will be posted on the Flight Attendant Joe blog and voted on by readers
  • Let me know in your email if you do not want your real name published with your story.
  • Entries must be received by Friday, August 26, 2016
  • Now… get your ass to writing them stories!

Available Now: Fasten Your Seat Belts And Eat Your Fucking Nuts



Fasten Your Seat Belts And Eat Your Fucking Nuts is now available for instant purchase and download on iTunes, Amazon, Kobo, and COMING SOON: Nook.

One reviewer already wrote:

“Joe Thomas takes us on a bawdy, tipsy tour through the world of flight attendants. Behind all the polite smiles and “buh-byes” what are our flight attendants really thinking about us as we walk off the plane? What kind of war stories have they seen dealing day after day confined to a metal tube with the traveling public? How many dick jokes do they tell when they get off work? (A lot) Can you be a flight attendant if you’re afraid to fly? (Yes) The chapter Operation Tomato Ass is my favorite and that title should tell you everything you need to know about this book. Leave your sensitivities at the door, because it’s full of dirty jokes, inappropriate humor, curse words, and a general disregard for anyone who takes themselves too seriously. If that sounds like your thing, especially if you’re a traveler or work in the industry, then you need to read this book.”

Easy links…

Amazon: Fasten Your Seat Belts And Eat Your Fucking Nuts

Kobo: Fasten Your Seat Belts And Eat Your Fucking Nuts

iTunes: Look under Joe Thomas or type out Fasten Your Seat Belts And Eat Your Fucking Nuts

Paperback for purchase COMING SOON!

Five Fantastic Book Ideas For Valentines Day


Wracking your brain trying to come up with a last minute gift idea for your flight attendant lover/mother/father/sister/brother/enemy – well look no further. Here’s five fantastic books that any flight attendant spending a few hours on the jumpseat would enjoy reading. I did!


Have you read Reclaimed? If not – what are you waiting for?


It won’t take you long to realize Ray Cook means business as an author. In his memoir Reclaimed he is brutally honest, upfront, funny, and does not waste your time sugar coating his life experiences.


White Devils

I tend to enjoy reading fiction or anything that transports me from my world into another one and delivers me from my own problems. When I started reading The Help I had no idea that I would become so entangled with the characters in this book. I was quickly transported to the early 1960’s fighting for equality and knowing that “separate but equal” was really was just a bunch of bullshit being spread across the South like an airborne sickness.


Joe 2.0

My life hasn’t been easy. The cards that were dealt to me as a child would have emptied out a millionaire’s bank account in Vegas. The hurdles that I have overcome are astounding and I still look in the mirror on a daily basis and say to myself, “WOW Joseph – you turned out alright for what you have been through.” I have always thought that life was measured in status and class and the more someone has guarantees them a spot at the top of the food chain, I don’t believe that anymore.



I had the best plan today; I was going to go to the Hemingway house and steal one of the many cats that lives on the property. Did I say steal; I meant adopt.



We went to lunch with some of Matt’s co-workers today. The cool crowd. It was nice. It is funny because I ask Matt if he is sad that he is leaving his job and he asks me, “Why would I be is a job..there is no emotion there.” HAHA he is so funny.
So we brought all the straight guys to Hamburger Mary’s and it went well. I had fun. The food took to damn long and I thought I was going to have to get loud..but I didn’t.



I took the 2:15p flight from Orlando to JFK today. I had bid for a bunch of trips tomorrow, I thought I would get one, but when I got to NY I found out that I was on Airport Standby at 5:40pm. So I was kind of upset because I came up really early to NY thinking I would be working in the morning and I could have stayed in Orlando for another night. 
We have had some MAJOR drama and issues at the crash pad.



I will the first to say that I am not the JAZZ type person. I do like all kinds of music but JAZZ has never been my forte. Matt had mentioned he wanted to go to the Mindi Abair CD release party in Orlando. I didn’t know if I wanted to go but he asked me so I decided to give it a try.