Flight Attendant Joe Stories: Traveling With A Lap Child

I did NOT take this picture. I am not that old. I am not even old enough to be that kid. Photo provided by SAS Scandinavian Airlines

It’s been awhile since I’ve written a post for the blog. I am truly sorry.

Let me clarify, that apology is not directed towards readers. It’s an apology to myself for not posting more on the blog and for not sticking to a promise I made when the calendar struck 2017. It was a simple promise, a promise where I said I’d post at least once a week on the blog. 

More…

Dear Airline Passengers… It’s National Flight Attendant Day

Why Do People Get So Crazy Once They Are On The Airplane?

In all my years as a flight attendant, the one question that always floats around my mind is, “Why do these people get so crazy on the airplane?”

Is it the recirculated air? The entire TSA process (which who could blame them)?Having their toothpaste and water bottles thrown into the trash at security like ticking time bombs?

What is it? Why the fuck do people turn into lunatics once they walk onto the airplane? More…

Fight Club: Air Nippon Airways Edition

Photo by The Japan Times.

When will all the crazy airline madness end?

Probably never.

More…

Woman dragged off Delta Airlines flight. Don’t let this happen to you.

img_20141225_124938898_1_1
Photo by Flight Attendant Joe

According to CBS News, a female passenger was removed from a Delta flight early Monday morning in Detroit Metropolitan Airport. Flight 2083, bound for San Diego, had a slight delay after police were called to assist with the removal of a woman who refused to leave the airplane.

More…

Try To Remember Happy Thoughts During Times of Devastation!

Misc 2 - 055

I am so fucking angry today. Beyond angry. I can’t even cry about what happened in Orlando. There are no tears; just anger. Anger for the deaths. Anger for the families left grieving the lost of their loved ones. Anger over religious fanatics. Anger over religion in general. Anger over terrorism and the fear these fuckers have brought upon us. Anger regarding the innocent lives lost early this morning. Anger about people killing in the name of God. Anger! Anger! Anger! Just plan– good old fashion– fucking anger!

These killings are not done in the name of God. They are done because of mental illness and because some human beings on this fucking planet make animals in the wild look tame. 

More…

Flight Attendant Stories: Not All Flight Attendants Are Drug Smugglers

FAJoeDrugsmuggling

Not all flight attendants are drug smugglers. And not all pilots are pimps… although most act like they are.

More…

Southwest Flight 1665 From Sacramento to Denver diverts to Oakland

 

southwest1

On December 27, 2015, Southwest Airlines flight 1665, a scheduled service flight from Sacramento to Denver, diverted to Oakland earlier in the afternoon. KCRA reports that it was due to a cabin pressurization issues.

The aircraft landed safely in Oakland and all the passengers were placed on a different airplane and continued their journey to Denver. 

The passengers had no issues with the aircraft diverting. We all know that airplanes divert for many reasons. Fuel. Weather. A broken lav filled with too much shit.

No, these passengers were pissed they had to land in Oakland. I wasn’t on the flight but I wouldn’t be surprised if many were heard screaming, “NOOOOO! Anywhere but Oakland. What about Fresno? Isn’t that closer.”

 

 

I write Jesus jokes – Get Over It!

Untitled drawing (2)

I’ve been pissing people off lately. I guess that comes with the territory of telling stories and writing inappropriate jokes. Right? My goal is to make people laugh but I guess if you have a cop’s nightstick up your ass – you won’t see that. I had to take a moment from writing my book – and pouring another glass of wine – to express myself in this blog post. 

More…

Have You Forgotten About 9/11?

 

911small

Do you remember what happened on September 11, 2001? Think back – it’s been 13 years. 

More…

The FAA Announces New Regulation For Personal Electronic Devices

wheel

Our friends at the Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) have eased up on their restrictions of when airline passengers can use their personal electronic devices (PED) on the airplane. For everyone involved this is a dream come true. No more will the flight attendant have to bark at their passengers to turn off cell phone and put away iPads because once this new regulation goes into effect passengers will be able to use their PEDs from gate-to-gate.

More…

10 Things You Need To Know Before Your Next Flight!

 

When you hear your flight attendant say, “Ladies & Gentlemen, Welcome aboard…” it really means, “Hey – shut the fuck up and pay attention.”

This is true. Flight attendants work hard to protect their passengers and all people want to do is ignore them, think that they are only there to serve cokes and nuts, and lift their incredibly heavy bags. This is not the case. The flight attendant is actually there for your SAFETY – the rest is just nuts in a bag.

Not every passenger is this rude and impolite on an airplane. Some people actually say, “Thank you,” “Please,” and “I brought my own water – I’m alright, ” but the remaining millions of you – here are a few tips on how to act when you get through TSA and run up to the gate demanding, “Why is my flight late??”

More…

Everyone Should Visit The United States Holocaust Memorial Museum in D.C.

20121226-150724.jpg

The tears didn’t flow until I rounded the last turn in the museum and sat among many other museum patrons; watching Holocaust survivor videos and listening to their heart wrenching testimonies.

The term heartbreaking is an understatement.

More…

Some GREAT travel articles that YOU should be reading!

I haven’t written for weeks now because I’ve been very busy turning 40. Turning 40 is a big deal and if you know me you should know that it’s a bigger deal for me than it would be for the average 40 year old.

I came across these great travel articles online and wanted to share them with my readers.

Happy reading…

More…

Meteor Crater

The drive across America has been an amazing and fantastic way to see the country. When I was sitting on my sofa in Orlando, I couldn’t imagine what it would be like to drive six to seven hours a day, go sightseeing each afternoon, and wake up to do it all again the next morning.

Letting the world be art…

More…