Dear Airline Passengers… It’s National Flight Attendant Day

Man Dragged Off United Express Flight, Don’t Let It Happen To You

According to The Huffington Post, a man was physically removed from his United Express* flight on Sunday morning. Flight #3411 from Chicago to Louisville was overbooked and a few passengers had to be taken off the flight. Apparently, United was looking for one volunteer to give up their seat, which came with a $400 voucher and a hotel stay. Sadly, nobody took the offer so the airline had to choose someone. From my past experience (I wasn’t there so please don’t quote me) the last passengers to check in are usually the ones who are asked to leave.


The Perfect Holiday Gift For That Flight Attendant & Pilot In Your Life

An Important Message Regarding Sexual Assault!


Did you know that every 109 seconds someone in America is the victim of sexual assault. And that only 6 out of every 1,000 rapists ends up in prison. Help me help victims of sexual assault.

Please watch this video…

If you are interested in purchasing a signed autographed copy of Fasten Your Seat Belts And Eat Your Fucking Nuts for $50.00 please email me at

There are only 10 books available for purchase. All monies from these sales will be donated to RAINN. The Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network.

Thank you,

Joe Thomas

What’s The Plan After You Publish A Book?


Fasten Your Seat Belts And Eat Your Fucking Nuts is published. Finally!

Some of you have been waiting about as long as I have. For you who have waited all these years, I thank you.

But now what? What’s on my agenda now? I’ve never written a book so I honestly don’t know the path that a real published author takes. By the way, I fucking LOVE saying that. I say it to myself in the mirror. I say it when I wake up in the morning. I say it while stuck in traffic or standing in line at the grocery store.


Up Next: OutWrite Book Festival – Washington D.C. August 5-7, 2016


What do you do after you write a tell-all, candid, and inappropriate flight attendant book? 

You read it live for people!


Strange Interaction in Syracuse


Today has been exhausting. After a long day boating and swimming yesterday, I flew to JFK last night and spent the night in the flight attendant crew lounge. 

I barely slept two hours.

After working three express flights this morning, I ended the work day in Syracuse. I was tired, slightly cranky, and in need of a shower and a nap. I set my alarm for one hour and ended up hitting snooze twice before throwing myself out of the bed and heading down to Dinosaur BBQ.

All of that is pretty boring, right? Those are manageable problems compared to things people are faced with in the world. Being a flight attendant isn’t always glamorous and fast-paced, sometimes it’s boring as fuck.

Then, on my way back to the hotel from the restaurant, something happened.


10 Halloween Costumes For The Airline Enthusiast


Here are ten fantastic costumes inspired by the airline industry that you can easily throw together to make a scene at any Halloween party. You should be able to find most of these items quickly in your closet, the neighbor’s trash bin, or at the Goodwill (You may have to borrow a wheelchair from a nursing home but just be sure to bring it back).

Follow the instructions under each header and have FUN!

Drunk Pilot (Male)

Whore Flight Attendant (Female)

Sassy Gay Flight Attendant (Male or Transitioning Male2Female

Bitchy Butch Gate Agent (Female)

Thug Ground Operations Guy (Male)

TSA Agent Thief

Islamic Terrorist

Spoiled Brat Toddler (Male or Female)

Wheelchair Airline Passenger (Female)

Airline CEO (Male)

Side note – if you get arrested for impersonating an airline employee or any of these costumes – don’t blame me!


I write Jesus jokes – Get Over It!

Untitled drawing (2)

I’ve been pissing people off lately. I guess that comes with the territory of telling stories and writing inappropriate jokes. Right? My goal is to make people laugh but I guess if you have a cop’s nightstick up your ass – you won’t see that. I had to take a moment from writing my book – and pouring another glass of wine – to express myself in this blog post. 


Alaska, Southwest, JetBlue, Spirit: New Route/Service For 2015

New Service (1)

 Check out these new destinations and service for the first half of 2015.




TBT: Barcelona 2010 & The Stolen iPhone


In the fall of 2010, my friend David and I traveled to Madrid, Barcelona, and Helsinki on an unbelievable five day vacation. It was exotic and fascinating. During the trip, I frequented many museums in Madrid, overindulged on paella in Barcelona, and experimented with the language in Helsinki. 

Actually, I sulked like a baby in Helsinki. 


Spirit is Loud, Proud, and… YELLOW!

Photos provided by USA Today article from September 17, 2014.

Have you seen the new Spirit Airlines livery? I thought it was a joke but apparently – it’s not. It’s real. It’s yellow.


Inspire Travel in Others


The other day I received this wonderful message from a reader – who happens to be a friend – regarding her experience when she went out to explore her town like she was visiting for the first time.

Have you ever done that? You’d be surprised at what you may find if you look at your town, city, state – or even country – with a fresh new viewpoint.

I did that after moving away from Orlando and I was surprised to see how many experiences I took for granted living there.

Thank you Gina for sharing this awesome adventure with me and I can’t wait to read more. I also can’t wait to check out a make your own Bloody Mary bar because I’ve never been to one of those. Talk about NOT living!!

Throwback Thursday – The Time I Walked From Nebraska to Iowa!

Front Camera

Walking across the Bob Kerrey Pedestrian Bridge from Omaha, Nebraska to Council Bluffs, Iowa.


Meme: Why The Fuck…