Just A Wedding Comedian In Kansas City

Photograph provided by Nicole Bissey from Nicole Bissey Photography.

It’s been almost three months since I’ve written a new blog post. With the holidays, marketing Fasten Your Seat Belts And Eat Your Fucking Nuts, writing a second book, writing a television show, emceeing a wedding, starting a stand up career, being married, and having two extremely needy cats… I’m kinda shocked that I haven’t run away to go live in the mountains.

Holy shit! I forgot to add flying around in an airplane collecting stories for future books. I still do that. What a minute? That came out wrong. I meant to say, flying around in an airplane providing award winning service to thousands of airline passengers going from point A to point B.

That’s what I meant… in case anyone from my airline is reading this.

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An Important Message Regarding Sexual Assault!

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Did you know that every 109 seconds someone in America is the victim of sexual assault. And that only 6 out of every 1,000 rapists ends up in prison. Help me help victims of sexual assault.

Please watch this video…

If you are interested in purchasing a signed autographed copy of Fasten Your Seat Belts And Eat Your Fucking Nuts for $50.00 please email me at joe@flightattendantjoe.com

There are only 10 books available for purchase. All monies from these sales will be donated to RAINN. The Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network.

Thank you,

Joe Thomas

Try To Remember Happy Thoughts During Times of Devastation!

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I am so fucking angry today. Beyond angry. I can’t even cry about what happened in Orlando. There are no tears; just anger. Anger for the deaths. Anger for the families left grieving the lost of their loved ones. Anger over religious fanatics. Anger over religion in general. Anger over terrorism and the fear these fuckers have brought upon us. Anger regarding the innocent lives lost early this morning. Anger about people killing in the name of God. Anger! Anger! Anger! Just plan– good old fashion– fucking anger!

These killings are not done in the name of God. They are done because of mental illness and because some human beings on this fucking planet make animals in the wild look tame. 

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In Loving Memory of My Beloved Grandmother. 01/3/23 – 04/05/95

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Recovering from knee surgery at my grandparent’s house. That’s my grandmother, Lorette, holding me up. She always held me up. My grandfather is watching sports from his chair. Circa 1986.

A good family member is hard to find. But I had one once, it was my grandmother, and today marks the 21st year anniversary of her death.

Note to reader: This is a personal post regarding my childhood and has nothing to do with flight attendant comedy.

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Flight Attendant Joe becomes A Rebel Heart!

 

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It’s always the next day after a concert that I can fully appreciate what I had experienced the night before. That’s how I am feeling today.  Today, I am in full Madonna mode. It’s like electricity running through my veins. How can you not be impressed by Madonna? Say what you will about this icon but anyone who can sustain a music career for three decades and still perform to sell out arenas is not someone to fuck with.  In her own words from the concert, “Don’t fuck with the Queen.”

Yes, Madonna! 

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How Living As A Temporary Disabled Person Has Changed Me For The Better!

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Have you ever noticed people parking in handicap parking spaces who shouldn’t be there? People with no handicap sticker.  No handicap license plate. No tag hanging perfectly in the rear view mirror. 

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I Deleted Facebook And Feel Great About It.

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Deactivating my personal Facebook profile is something that I’ve been longing to do for months. I wanted to separate myself from Facebook but didn’t want to lose my page for The Joe Show. You can’t have a page without a personal profile and I finally found a loophole to keep one – but eliminate the other. Even though I don’t want Facebook for my personal life it is a vital source of traffic for my blog.

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A Google Christmas!

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A “spray paint” computerized board for artists – and not so good artists – to display their talents.

The airline industry is a harsh environment. With rising fuel prices and competition from every corner of the globe it’s a surprise that some airlines stay in business – without having to merge with another airline.

If you work for the airlines hopefully you understand that money doesn’t come pouring out of the engines. It also doesn’t grow out of the artificial trees at the airport gates. Airlines struggle and make do which means that as an employee we don’t really get showered with gifts. During the holidays we work, get fed a nice holiday meal, and if we are lucky – get paid double time to work on select holidays.

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Have you read Reclaimed? If not – what are you waiting for?

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It won’t take you long to realize Ray Cook means business as an author. In his memoir Reclaimed he is brutally honest, upfront, funny, and does not waste your time sugar coating his life experiences.

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41 Things I Am Thankful For.

 

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While walking to the library the other day I started thinking about things I am thankful for. Items and quotes were flooding my brain and I could barely get them all down. I had to stop every few moments and tap the information into my phone so that I wouldn’t forget what I was conjuring up in my mind. You know – there is a lot that happens in my head and most of it never even makes it down on paper.

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Time To Start Thinking Like A Dude

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Photo provided by The Joe Show

I am going to confess something – I am gay. I know, I will wait for you to pick your jaws up off the floor and continue reading this post. I have been gay since I came screaming out of my mother, turned around and thought, NEVER AGAIN.  I came “out” when I was 16. 24 years and counting and I have totally forgotten how to think like a straight guy.

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Oh yeah – This is that story about the time I pissed the bed.

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I sat in my Seattle hotel room, tossing and turning for hours, wondering if I’d be able to stay awake for my five hour red eye back to Boston.

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Foto Friday: My Favorite Google Sign

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I have this fascination with Google signs that I just can’t seem to shake. It doesn’t even have to be a sign – just put together G-O-O-G-L-E together in a unique and clever way and I my camera comes out to snap a picture.

I love Google.

This Google sign above is one of my favorites, from the 73rd floor of the Taipei 101 building in Taipei, Taiwan. I don’t even think it’s a sign – I think that maintenance was cleaning up the micro kitchen (that’s Google lingo) and threw these letters together on the window ledge.

Well, that’s not true. Nothing is just “mistakenly” done at Google. Everything has a purpose and this Google signs purpose it to make you say, “WOW!”

With this view and the haphazardly shape and display of the letters this is sign gets top billing as my favorite Google sing…so far.

Meandering through San Francisco

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I meandered around San Francisco yesterday awaiting the arrival of my new passport.

It never fails. When I spend anytime in SFO (I like using airport codes for cities – it’s a flight attendant thing) I immediately feel like I’m on an overnight layover.

It’s still weird for me to think I live in Northern California.

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Thank Google It’s Friday!

I think my mother-in-law is getting too comfortable at Google. It’s time for Sharon to stop stepping on my Google toes.

There you are, I can actually see you, sitting at your L-shaped cubicle desk, staring at your computer screen wishing, hoping, that you could spent 8+ hours per day anywhere else  other than at the company you work for.

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